Monday, September 17th
-The Hill reports that Dick Cheney has nothing to hide.

Tuesday, September 18th
-White House IT staffers hide in the cafeteria kitchen as an angry Dick Cheney stalks the grounds. His fantasy football team is in last place, despite the tap on Dungy’s phone, and an e-mail he received proposing a trade was permanently deleted, per White House protocol. “I tell you when to permanently delete e-mails,” he grumbles.

Wednesday, September 19th
-Dana Perino realizes that tomorrow is News Conference day, where in one hour an unscripted president will make her next week hell. Wearily, she dials her pharmacist. “Yes, Xanex…Do you have, um, extra strength?”

Thursday, September 20th
-The President warns the Senate and House that he will veto legislation to extend the Children’s Health Insurance Program to cover more uninsured children. Dick Cheney leans forward to hide his growing erection and high-fives his man Addington. “Let them have lunch…OR NOT!” Laughter all around.
-Asked about potential political leaders in Iraq, the president declares “Nelson Mandela is dead. Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas.” Dick Cheney hears the name and nudges Addington. “Mandela was a terrorist,” he whispers.
“He’s still alive,” replies Addington. Cheney mentally adds name to “People to Extraordinarily Render” list.

Friday, September 21st
-Warring Headlines:
San Francisco Chronicle: Bush Asks Dems for Cheaper Health Plan
Kansas City Star: Bush Will Ask for a Big Boost in War Funds
Dana Perino’s Diary: Dick Cheney Scares Me
-The World Health Organization reports an outbreak of cholera in Baghdad. The President gets a call from his father and Bill Clinton. “We’re gonna rent an aircraft carrier,” they tell him. “This is our mission accomplished moment!”

This entry was posted on Saturday, September 22nd, 2007 at 11:24 am and is filed under This Week in the Bush Administration, Corruption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.