Monday, October 1st
-After hearing rumors, David Addington has to remind Dick Cheney that extraordinary rendition is strictly prohibited by the bylaws of their fantasy football league. “I understand,” says Cheney. “Here, have one of these.”
“No, Dick. That’s a roofie.”

Tuesday, October 2nd
-Blackwater Security head Erik “Colonel Jessup” Prince testifies before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. At issue: Blackwater guards—whether they are reckless; the truth—whether you can handle it.
“You’re goddamn right I ordered the code red!” He shouts. “And instead I got a fucking SURGE!”

Wednesday, October 3rd
-The press is not invited to the private ceremony as Bush vetoes the bill to expand the Children’s Health Insurance Program. To quell their resulting arousal, and to avoid having their purchases scrutinized by the GAO, Cheney and Addington extraordinarly render some escorts.
-Alberto Gonzales can’t remember whether he fed the cats.

Thursday, October 4th
-The New York Times reports that the Justice Department issued a secret endorsement of the CIA’s harshest interrogation techniques. People pretend to be surprised.
-Dick Cheney issues an executive legislative order that all future legal opinions be written on Etch-a-Sketch.

Friday, October 5th
-”Super” David Petraeus meets with a representative of the mushroom people to plan their liberation.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 7th, 2007 at 8:02 am and is filed under This Week in the Bush Administration, Corruption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.