The original Coach was built on the Andy Griffith model, with a big, decent guy as the lead and a goofy, smaller man as his devoted but sometimes inept sidekick. You could argue that it’s a timeless model. But right now, it’s not what’s hot. And moreover, it’s not really honest—not when it comes to college football.

Everyone knows that college football is big business. In most states, the highest paid public employee is a college football coach. Washington just lost to Oregon, whose wheels of ascent were greased by the liquid fortune of Phil Knight. USC rode Reggie Bush to several top five finishes, while he and his family allegedly rode in a limousine and pulled in $280,000 in benefits. And the tradition goes back: some of my favorite college football teams are the Miami squads from the late 80s, when 2 Live Crew’s Luther Campbell stalked the sidelines, doling out cash in pre-set amounts as rewards for big plays.

Isn’t it time, then, to resurrect Coach, but take it the Desperate Housewives route (except for scrapping the laugh track—the laugh track must be kept)? Maybe Hayden has some friends who can make some “problems” disappear. Maybe Johnny Heisman roughs up a valet who scratches his Escalade. Maybe a touchdown earns you more than a shining star on your helmet—it earns you a star shining your helmet. A place where everybody knows your name, where the steroids flow like water, and where it only rains when your cornerbacks make it.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 23rd, 2007 at 1:08 pm and is filed under Great Ideas, football. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.