After watching a Sonics game, do you ever find yourself wishing you hadn’t drank so much? Or perhaps, despondent at the team’s play or potential move, wishing you’d drank more? Well, we at Buzzer Beater are here to help you regulate (consider us the Nate Dogg to your Warren G). So get a half-rack, turn on the game, and follow the rules below.

Drink every time you encounter an event listed in your category, or in one of the categories before it:

Designated Driver

-Wally Szczerbiak dunks.
-Delonte West finishes with his right hand.
-You overhear someone say “I wish Craig Ehlo was still calling these games.” (Other players: no cheating and lying on this one, or you have to pay for the cab).
-Kevin Durant outmuscles his opponent.
-The camera shows Clayton Bennett in the owner’s box.
-You find yourself thinking “man, those three seven footers were really underrated draft picks.”

I’m just gonna have one or two.

-Luke Ridnour fouls a stronger point guard who’s backing him down.
-After the defense attempts to force him right, Delonte West backs the ball out to get an angle to go left.
-Damien Wilkins hits a corner three.
-Wally Szczerbiak gets an assist or rebound.
-Kurt Thomas dunks.
-Nick Collison attempts a layup or dunk with his right hand.

I need a little buzz.

-Kevin Durant deflects a pass.
-On a pick and roll, Chris Wilcox shuffles his feet to begin setting them for a dunk, despite being more than fifteen feet from the basket.
-Wally Szczerbiak complains to or makes an incredulous face at an official. Drink two more times if he turns to someone other than that official to further plead his case.
-Brian Davis reminds you of Jeff Gannon
-Damien Wilkins takes a shot that would have gotten you benched on your high school, junior high, or rec league team.
-Nick Collison attempts a layup or dunk with his left hand.

Fuck it. Let’s get drunk.

-Kevin Durant takes a shot that would have gotten you benched on your high school, junior high, or rec league team.
-Chris Wilcox dunks.
-Robert Swift looks like a victim stuck in a bully’s body.
- Damien Wilkins pump fakes.
-Jeff Green’s jersey looks too small for him.
-You find yourself examining the southern shore of PJ’s beard for grip marks.

Help me forget!

-Kevin Durant takes a shot.
-Chris Wilcox grabs a rebound.
-A Sonics player misses a defensive rotation, leading to an open shot for the opponent.
-Jeff Green plays better defense than Rashard Lewis.
-Wally Szczerbiak’s dribble game reminds you of your dad’s.
-You find yourself thinking, “I hope they don’t move to Oklahoma City.”

This entry was posted on Monday, November 19th, 2007 at 1:44 pm and is filed under Supersonics, Roundball. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.