A max contract for Rashard Lewis? I’ve made a huge mistake!

With Dwight Howard doing his Ivan Drago impression, the Sonics had no choice but to be crushed by the Orlando Magic, 110-94, and thus they drop to a historically futile 2-14. (Bar owners, if you were looking to do a promotional beer price based on the team’s winning percentage, you may be out of luck). Aside from Howard’s cartoonishly dominant performance (I was reminded of the times I’d skip class in college and play swimming pool hoops with ten-year-olds), there were a few highlights:

-Hedo Turkoglu’s Fauxhawk: Subtle, but mangled, this looked like the work of a late-night dorm room hacker–a combination of Edwards Scissorhands and Fortyhands.

-Wally Szczerbiak: Orlando’s newly acquired Maurice Evans may have been the one wearing the calf-covering black business socks, but it was Wally who played like your dad in the driveway after juicing himself up on a couple hours of March madness and the appearance of the early spring sun. His 6-20 performance was highlighted by a couple of first half plays. First, he deliberately lingered too close to a Damien Wilkins attempt at a post up, forcing Wilkins to abandon it and screen for Szczerbiak, who took the shot. Second, from the wing, he declined to pass to a wide open Kevin Durant, who stood about eight feet from the basket. Instead, in a nod to weekend warriors everywhere, he dipped his head and charged the lane, only to have his running right hander blocked by Brian Cook (career avg: 0.4 blocks per game). Szczerbiak did bring his customary intensity, virtually performing the Brandi Chastain after every made shot in the 4th quarter. (Perhaps he could trim one of those new NBA undershirts to make it look like a sports bra?)

-Kevin Durant: It was a tale of two halves for the rook: in the first, he looked a little lost, his attempts at hesitation dribbles and high stepping in the lane not producing buckets. But he came on strong in the second, once again with a big fourth quarter that provided Sonics fans a small window of exhilaration. For about three or four minutes, he put on a virtuoso display of hesitations, crossovers, and spin moves, repeatedly getting himself to the free throw line and occasionally finishing despite the foul. What’s more, he complemented his scoring with a stellar job of guarding Dwight Howard down the stretch (and no, that’s not a typo). Unfortunately, he played only 34 minutes. (Saving him for the playoffs, PJ?) When Durant isn’t on the court, the offense stagnates (he’s becoming more of a playmaker), and, more importantly, the fans grow restless. Nobody’s paying to see the Damien Wilkins/Kurt Thomas two-man game. Hell, hardly anybody’s paying, period.

Stan Van Gundy: The Ron Jeremy comparisons are as spot on in person as on TV (at least when he’s clothed). Bonus fun can be had by watching him pacing the sidelines with his arms raised or his hands clasped across the top of his head and imagining that he’s searching for his missing neck.

Where did it go?

Finally, Rashard Lewis showed up for the game…sort of. (What did you expect?) He was thoroughly outplayed down the stretch by Durant, a welcome consolation for the hometown faithful. But he went home with a fat paycheck and a W, and he drives a Denali with spinners, so here’s guessing he’s not sweating it. As a longtime Sonics fan, I say congrats to Mr. Lewis for getting his money and landing on one of the best teams in the league. Rarely is free agency played so well.

This entry was posted on Thursday, November 29th, 2007 at 2:13 am and is filed under Supersonics, Roundball. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.