When word came down of Rudy Giuliani’s departure from the Republican primary race, I thought of his chief foreign policy adviser, Norman Podhoretz, and Axl Rose’s tortured wail from “Sweet Child o’ Mine” echoed in my head:

Where do we go? Where do we go now? Oh oh oh oh…

Indeed, where does Norman go? We’re down to the Final Four, there’s plenty of votes to be cast, and Iran remains uninvaded by democracy or American bombs. Norm finds himself in a position similar to that of Tiki Barber, who left football a year too early and now must watch his erstwhile teammates play for a Super Bowl title.

Sugar cube?

Yup, Norm hitched his battle wagon to the wrong war horse. Will he be forced to sit on the sidelines as a result? It’s not like Norm or his buddies to hype a war and then sit it out.

Ever get the feeling these modern sons of Sparta would’ve found themselves on the wrong side of a cliff back in the day?

While three of the remaining candidates can boast of statements or votes that hint at an answer to Norm’s hopes and prayers, there is one whose hawkishness is backed up by an actual record of going to war: Senator John McCain. The bellicose Arizonan should’ve been Norm’s choice all along. After all, Rudy’s real enemies are everyone who disagrees with him and/or got capped by New York’s Finest. By contrast, John was into bombing fools before bombing fools was cool.

So how ’bout it, Norm? Pride’s a bitch, but you gotta swallow it. Give John a call. It’s too late for Tiki, but you’ve still got a chance.

This entry was posted on Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 2:54 am and is filed under Campaign 2008, Crazy People, Dumb Ideas. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.