Under fire for allegedly injecting Guantanamo detainees with mind-altering substances to coerce confessions, Department of Defense officials blamed Houston Astros shortstop Miguel Tejada, who they said provided them with syringes supposedly filled with B-12 vitamins.

“You’ll have to ask Migs about that,” said Navy Commander J.D. Gordon, a Pentagon Spokesperson. “He already lied to us about his age. We feel betrayed.”

Tejada’s agent declined to comment and suggested that media contact Berkeley professor and former Department of Justice attorney John C. Yoo, whose infamous memo held that the U.S. can use drugs on prisoners.

A phone message left with Professor Yoo went unanswered, but an administrative official at Berkeley Law School explained that the Professor was on a retreat with Erik Prince, Skeletor, and the ghosts of Heinrich Himmler and J. Edgar Hoover. He is due back next week.

The whole hubbub has not gone unnoticed by Congress; Pennsylvania Senator Arlen Specter has vowed to hold hearings. “I find it very troubling that Miguel Tejada lied about his age,” said the Senator.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008 at 12:17 pm and is filed under Corruption. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.