Dunno how long this will stay up, as it’s being taken down elsewhere for copyright reasons. Enjoy it while you can. This dude is ridiculous.

Thanks to Scott for the tip.

NYC readers looking for something to do on Saturday should check out the Bicycle Film Festival. My friend and Haymaker & Sally collaborator Jason Reid will be showing his short, “Across the Czech Republic”. More info here.

Check out my most recent web column, on the Sonics owners, e-mails, and my friend Craig.

Full archive of them can be found here.

DraftExpress’s Jonathan Givony and ESPN’s Chad Ford are reporting that the Sonics are leaning heavily towards drafting University of Arizona guard Jarred Bayless with their fourth pick. Says Ford, “of the first four picks in the draft, this one looks like the closest to a lock.”

And a fun fact from Givony: The Sonics had the league’s fourth fastest-paced offense last year. Of course, that may be more the result of Durant jacking up early jumpers than of a true push-the-pace philosophy, but it’s encouraging to learn that, however haphazard or muddled the team’s fast break offense was, Carlesimo has learned to loosen the reins a little.

Famous baseball manager Earl Weaver was known for such feats of wrath as getting himself kicked out of both ends of a double-header (three times) and getting kicked out of a game during the exchange of lineup cards (twice). But his best-known bit of crustiness is this interview, which I named the number one sports tantrum of all time, despite doubting that it was unscripted.

Well, Baltimore Sun columnist Rick Maese did the legwork to satisfy the curiosity of Weaver admirers everywhere and find the real story behind Earl declaring that “Alice Sweet oughta be worried about where the fuck her next lay is coming from…if she’d get her ass out at the bars at night and go hustling around the goddamn streets she might get a prick stuck in her once in a while.”

ESPN’s Chad Ford is reporting that, with Chicago likely to draft Derrick Rose, Miami is becoming more and more interested in O.J. Mayo (subscription required), and in potentially trading down with the Sonics, Grizzlies, or Timberwolves, all of whom would likely want the second pick to use on MIchael Beasley. (I’ve always wondered if teams who trade down more than one pick ever get burned doing it. Do they have contingency deals with all the teams after them–i.e. would Miami have one ready with each of the aforementioned teams, so that no matter who picked Mayo, the Heat would be able to get him?)

While it’s obviously super early for draft rumors to be given much credence, the potential trio of Durant, Green, and Beasley is fun to contemplate. If Presti had the good sense to jettison Carlesimo, the team could even move Beasley to the five, start Green at the four, and put Durant at the three (where he’ll likely end up anyway) and play D’Antoni style. (They could also do the same with Wilcox or Collison at the five, but that’s less of a long-term solution.) Of course, this would require the right point guard, so here’s fantasizing that the Supes score Ricky Rubio in next year’s draft. The 17-year-old is already dominating Europe’s best league, where he’s been playing since he was 16.

Finally, a video for Mike and all the hoop-nostalgists and Del the Funky Homosapien Fans:

My latest “The Bounce to Ecstasy!” column came out today. It’s about the NBA Draft Lottery, a proposed reality show, and the Sonics’ next draft choice. Check it out!

 Apparently this one’s been around for a long time, but I’m posting it anyway. I wonder what was going through her head.

Sorry for the long drought between posts–I was off having fun in New York City. I return with some good news: you can now buy your tickets to see Haymaker & Sally at STIFF. Even though my name was omitted from the linked page, I assure you that I am the co-director.

Also, those of you looking to add a touch of buddy cop to your wardrobe can now buy Haymaker & Sally t-shirts at our webpage.

I’m happy to announce that I’m signed up for my very own web sports column at the Seattle Weekly. It’s called “The Bounce to Ecstasy!”, after the catchphrase coined by the sublime Bill Raftery. I join two much more well-known and accomplished individuals (Krist Novoselic and John Roderick) as a Weekly web columnist. My columns will basically be glorified blog posts, but they may be in print every now and again and I’m getting paid for them, which is nice. This week’s installment offers a solution for the Mariners’ woes. Look for a new one at this address every Thursday.