Hit the books, junior!

The chickens are finally coming home to roost for Rafaello Follieri, former boyfriend of Hollywood actress Anne Hathaway and alleged defrauder of big-time investors. Follieri used his family’s Vatican connections to persuade capital firms to bankroll a scheme whereby he would buy up Church properties in the States and redevelop them for socially responsible purposes. It seems, however, that he was simply pocketing the cash and using it to fund an extravagant playboy lifestyle.

All in all, not a bad short-term scheme, and Follieri managed to drag it out for two years. It likely reminds fans of French literature of a famous forebear: Andre Gide’s The Vatican Cellars. In that novel (whose plot is partly borrowed from an actual 1892 scam), the scheming Protos poses as a priest to persuade credulous Catholics that the Freemasons and a cabal of mutinous Cardinals have imprisoned the Pope in the Vatican cellars, replacing him with an impostor. Under the utmost secrecy, he collects donations for a holy SWAT Team to free the Pontiff. Donors are warned not to mention a word of the situation to anyone, lest the plans be blown or the faith of the masses shaken.

Might Follieri have been wiser to have used such a scheme? Unlike real estate transactions, top-secret kidnappings and rescue efforts are entirely off the books. And impostor accusations are hard to disprove: we all know that Saddam Hussein had look-alikes. Perhaps Mr. Follieri now wishes he’d read his French classics. It looks like he’ll have plenty of time to catch up.

Save Our Sonics stalwarts Jason Reid and Camp Jones have released Part I of their opus on last Monday’s rally:

Congratulations to my friend Andrew for winning the “Dirt Lip” award in the Nike Mustache May competition. Here he is in all his mustachioed glory:

And here’s a shot of him clean-shaven. Ladies, he’s single!

Scouts have also expressed concern about Lopez’s congenitally misshapen right hand.

DraftExpress’ Jonathan Givony is reporting that, while most Internet sites are predicting that the Sonics will draft Bayless with the fourth pick, most NBA teams with whom he spoke believe the Sonics will draft Brook Lopez.

A month or two ago, this would’ve seemed like a hot pick, and indeed, like any other investment market, the draft contains its hysterias and irrational fluctuations, so it can be hard to know when a rise or decline is warranted. But in this case, Lopez’s predicted drop from the top half of the lottery seems justified for a couple reasons: his college shooting percentage and rebounding numbers were good but not great, and he posted epically slow times in the speed and agility drills at the combine. He’s got some solid skills, but he’s not fourth pick material. And from a fan’s perspective–assuming we in Seattle get to remain fans–I’d much rather the Sonics build around speed than plodders. Anyone who’s watched the Houston offense can recognize that Yao Ming hamstrings Tracy McGrady and the running game, and it’d be a bummer to see the Supes management do the same to Jeff Green and Kevin Durant.

UPDATE
Chad Ford is reporting that the Supes are now leaning toward super-athletic UCLA guard Russell Westbrook, but only if they can’t engineer a trade (most likely Wilcox and the #4 for Mark Blount and the #2) to get Miami’s pick and select Michael Beasley.

This week’s column is up. Full archives here. We thank you for your support.

For now, at least, I’m too lazy to post here the pictures that I just posted at the Weekly. So you can check them out there.

I’ll have some pics from the Sonics rally later tonight, and I know Reid was taking video, so when his work schedule allows it, we’ll likely be treated to another of his gems. For now, though, let’s congratulate him for being among the subjects of the Sports Photos of the Week at the Arizona Republic.

Thanks to Matt N. for the tip.

Update:
Camp Jones, who made the Sonics Take Manhattan video with Reid, is pictured here waving a Sonics flag.

…in the story I tell in this week’s “The Bounce to Ecstasy!” column: “Tell John McLaren You Saved Him a Buck or Two by Dialing 1-800-COLLECT“. As always, full archives of the column can be found here.

Tonight’s STIFF lineup features my two favorite of the festival’s movies thus far: the delightful Frank & Cindy (7:00 at the Capitol Hill Arts Center), and, of course, my own Haymaker & Sally (9:30 at the Central Cinema). If you must choose only one, choose Haymaker & Sally, but I recommend both. And do review them (and any others you see), so that you can have a voice in who wins the audience award! (All you have to do is sign up for an account on the STIFF page–very easy to do.)

As many of you already know, Jason Reid has been assiduously documenting the Sonics relocation saga (perhaps to the tune of a future feature length documentary). Well, his most recent movie, a seven-minute Manhattan-shot splendor made with fellow Haymaker & Sally stalwart Camp Jones, has taken the web by storm. See it below, along a televised shout-out from KOMO-4 anchor Dan Lewis:

Finally, I should add that the Save Our Sonics rally he’s promoting in the videos is slated to feature former Sonics Gary Payton and Xavier McDaniel. To paraphrase Wayne Brady on the Chapelle show, is the X-Man gonna have to choke a Sonics owner?