Everyone’s favorite buddy cop movie now has its own IMDB entry!* Visit the page, add trivia, rate and review the movie, and generally just bask in the glory of our renegade buddy cop bonanza clearing another bar of establishment. Similarly, you can visit our STIFF page and rate and review the movie there as well, so that those considering attending Wednesday’s screening will get an idea of its awesomeness.

Speaking of, come to Wednesday’s screening! It’s at 9:30 PM at the Central Cinema at 21st and Union. You can have pizza and beer while you watch! We’re expecting a big turnout, so buy your tickets ahead of time or get there early!

*Apologies to those whose characters are listed under the page of an actor who shares your name–rest assured I’m working on getting it fixed.

My most recent Weekly web column is up, and the title pretty much tells explains it. As the result of a site redesign over there, the archive of my columns has been moved here.

Yesterday brought the release of the Orlando draft camp measurements, showing how tall, long, fat, strong, fast, and springy all the top prospects are. (A sortable database of measurements for every year can be found here.) DraftExpress’ Jonathan Givony provides a nice analysis of this year’s results and a run-down of the history of draft measurements. And at Sports Northwest Magazine, Seth Kolloen uses the measurements to make some good points about race and scouting.

As others have noted before, the measurements can be deceiving: for example, 2007 slam dunk king Andre Iguodala’s vertical jump was only one inch better than J.J. Redick’s and more than six inches worse than Brandon Roy’s. Which leads me to wonder, what’s with this new trend of the top verticals being held by guys who never dunk the ball? In 2006, Brandon Roy’s vertical was measured at 40.5 inches and Jordan Farmar’s at 42 inches. This year, O.J. Mayo hit 40 inches. While they’re certainly athletic, these guys never seem like high-flyers in games. But according to their verticals, they should all be within inches of head-butting the rim at the peak of their jumps.

Photo of Joe Alexander from DraftExpress. Can you picture Brandon Roy doing this?

No radio interviews for you!

Back in February, I wrote a piece comparing the Sonics’ situation to the movie Major League. Well, the information being revealed by the upcoming trial continues to make the comparison more apt. Today, we learn that, in response to the team’s motion to exclude testimony by KJR radio host Mitch Levy and author and Stranger columnist Sherman Alexie, the city’s lawyers have filed a motion disclosing that the team allowed Kevin Durant to appear on KJR only once all last season. Sure doesn’t sound like a team trying to market a wildly talented, good-looking rookie star who confesses to a crush on Beyonce and can do a dead-on impression of his coach’s raspy voice.

DraftExpress posted the Orlando draft camp measurements today. See how the player you want to see drafted ranks in such metrics as no-step vertical jump, 185 lb bench press, and body fat percentage!

Of note: Jerryd Bayless measured well in everything but wingspan, O.J. Mayo tied for the highest maximum vertical jump, and the slimmed down Kevin Love is still nearly 13% body fat but has a better maximum vertical jump than noted athletes Davon Jefferson and Joey Dorsey. It’s endless fun for draft dorks, so dig in!

Thanks to Nick for the heads-up.

Richard Nixon reportedly viewed Patton–one of his favorite movies–the night before he decided to bomb Hanoi. But while it’s not unusual for hawkish presidents to look to war heroes (or celluloid portrayals thereof) for foul-mouthed, inspirational exhortations, the inverse is nearly unheard of. Until now, that is. Ladies and Gentleman, your President, as presented by General Ricardo S. Sanchez:

During a videoconference with his national security team and generals, Sanchez writes, Bush launched into what he described as a “confused” pep talk:

“Kick ass!” he quotes the president as saying. “If somebody tries to stop the march to democracy, we will seek them out and kill them! We must be tougher than hell! This Vietnam stuff, this is not even close. It is a mind-set. We can’t send that message. It’s an excuse to prepare us for withdrawal.”

“There is a series of moments and this is one of them. Our will is being tested, but we are resolute. We have a better way. Stay strong! Stay the course! Kill them! Be confident! Prevail! We are going to wipe them out! We are not blinking!”

A White House spokesman had no comment.

The Bush Administration jumped so many sharks this week it should change its name to Knievel. First, Scott McClellan—the most docile of the press secretaries, the roundfaced, bullied mouthpiece who repeated himself like the broken Vista guy in the Mac ads when the real world Jack Donaghys finally lifted their moratorium on journalism—hit ‘em up with the publication of a book that, as Frank Rich points out, covers a lot of familiar territory, but still fingers W’s henchmen for some nasty business. Alas, when a useful idiot ceases to be useful, he still makes a sound.

Then, Condi Rice swung through Scandinavia to the tune of headlines like “Condeleezza Rice enlists in KISS Army Fan Club” and “Rice rejects Iceland’s criticism of Guantanamo Bay.” I’m not one for stuffy notions of the dignity of the office, and I give Rice credit for kicking it with all our NATO allies, and not just the big guns, but there’s something sad about having to take the Guantanamo fight to Reykjavik when you already got clowned domestically by Harold and Kumar. It feels a little like Ted Haggard’s latest proclamation of heterosexuality. At least she got a photo-op with the dude who called Islam “a vile culture.”

But Bjork’s countryfolk weren’t the only island-dwellers to give W’s operation the shaft this week: today, Australia announced it was cutting and running from Iraq, mate. The contraction of our foreign coalition matches the contraction of W’s coalition in Congress: W and his would-be successor can’t even strong arm enough of their fellow elephants into opposing the new G-I bill to make it subject to a veto.

With Karl Rove defending his myopic strategery and dogging McLellan from his Fox News perch and Ari Fleischer, whose credibility is beyond reproach, coming out of his Arli$$ retirement to suggest that McClellan’s accusations actually came from a Random House editor, one wonders, where is attack dog #1, the the gun-waving, terrorism-fighting, smirking, steaming #2 known as Dick Cheney. It used to be, when things got hot, Dick got on camera. Where’s our “last throes,” Dick? Where’s a smirk and a McCarthyite attack on your opponents’ patriotism? Shark got your tongue? Sometimes a stunt gets the better of even a dude who’s earned the title “Evil.”