I suppose I shouldn’t knock it without having seen it, but I never understood the point of Gus Van Sant’s shot-by-shot remake of Psycho. (Also, Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates seems like a disservice to both of them.) When it came out, I thought, why would anyone put all that effort into just repeating something, right down to the very last shot?*

Well, now I know. Below you will find a remake done right. Kudos to the filmmakers–genius concept, masterful execution.

For good measure, here it is, side-by-side, with the original.

*Apparently, Van Sant’s version is slightly different. He added a masturbation scene. Which is appropriate.

In a move that could place him with Curt Flood as a sports labor trailblazer, high school baller Brandon Jennings officially announced that he’ll skip college and instead spend his post-high school, pre-NBA year playing in Europe for money. Ever since David Stern instituted the age limit, I’ve been waiting for this to happen. (As you can see here and here, I’m not a fan of guys having to play for free.) If Jennings starts a trend (and it will be interesting to see if he does, because European teams are system-heavy and may not be excited about integrating, for just one year, young, raw American talent), the NBA will still save money by developing players elsewhere, and may see interest in their league expand abroad. But they’ll lose the marketing machine they wanted the college game to be for them. And the blowhards at the NCAA will worry about their gravy train running out of fuel.

In truth, you could probably slap school names on a bunch of mice running around a court and thousands of alums would get fired up about it. But it’d be nice if the trend started by Jennings’ departure ended up calling the bluff of the “Stay in School” crowd, so we could see how much they like it when college basketball is like college baseball–i.e. a low visibility sport that’s more about its own, small subculture and less about making money for the glorified pimps in the three piece suit. As my friend Nick said, “I just can not wait to see Coach K, Roy Williams, and Lute Olsen freak the fuck out because they’re losing their best players to Italian teams named after jeans and kids candies.

My latest “The Bounce to Ecstasy!” column came out today. It’s about the NBA Draft Lottery, a proposed reality show, and the Sonics’ next draft choice. Check it out!

Sorry for the long drought between posts–I was off having fun in New York City. I return with some good news: you can now buy your tickets to see Haymaker & Sally at STIFF. Even though my name was omitted from the linked page, I assure you that I am the co-director.

Also, those of you looking to add a touch of buddy cop to your wardrobe can now buy Haymaker & Sally t-shirts at our webpage.

I’m happy to announce that I’m signed up for my very own web sports column at the Seattle Weekly. It’s called “The Bounce to Ecstasy!”, after the catchphrase coined by the sublime Bill Raftery. I join two much more well-known and accomplished individuals (Krist Novoselic and John Roderick) as a Weekly web columnist. My columns will basically be glorified blog posts, but they may be in print every now and again and I’m getting paid for them, which is nice. This week’s installment offers a solution for the Mariners’ woes. Look for a new one at this address every Thursday.

One Saturday morning in the year 2000, South Tacoma eight-year-old Perley King woke up to find that there were no Cheerios in the cupboard. Cheerios were his favorite cereal, so he did what any bold and resourceful eight-year-old would do: he got the family dog, stole the keys to his sister’s car, and attempted to drive to the grocery store, alternately pressing the gas and lifting himself to see over the dashboard.

I’ve always admired Perley King for his take-charge approach, and even suggested to my girlfriend the possibility of naming future offspring after him. The idea was quickly vetoed.

The legend and his partner in crime pose for the press in 2000

Well, it appears that Perley has been upstaged. Seven-year-old Latarian Milton of Palm Beach Gardens, Florida joyrode his grandmother’s Dodge Durango because he was mad at his mom. Check out the video. How many seven-year-olds get to give their defiant “I’m not sorry” speech on television. He provides some great quotes.

Thanks to Jeff for the tip.

My friend Moons presents a fascinating piece of art/biblical history revisionism.

While I’m not terribly sympathetic to the aims of Mike Huckabee, I did admire his Chuck Norris ad. I am generally sympathetic to the aims of Oregon Senator Ron Wyden, but sympathies aside, this is the most entertaining political advertisement I’ve seen in a long time:

Apologies to any remaining readers for my prolonged dereliction of posting duties. It will continue, as I’ll be in Mexico the next six days for my friends Nick and Elizabeth’s wedding. In the meantime, enjoy Golden State Warriors star Baron Davis on roller skates (with a vintage New Edition sountrack!). It’s not new to the Internet, but it’s new to me, and I spend a lot of time on the Internet reading about basketball, so I figure it may be new to some of you: