Randy Jackson Presents America’s Best Talking Heads - Why Mario Lopez should replace Chris Matthews and the America’s Best Dance Crew Panel should judge convention speeches.

Dear Paul: Go For Bolt - My case to Paul Allen for signing Usain Bolt

Sex and the Olympic City - Fascinating, funny article on the swingers club that is the Olympic Village, written by a former Olympic athlete.

This week’s column: I sing the praises of Kevin Calabro.

Another post by me–some silliness with top-10 lists and local political figures.

Huan Hsu used to write for the Weekly but moved to China to work for an Uncle’s business and work on a book. He wrote this entertaining piece on his adolescent struggles with Asian stereotypes and the success of Michael Chang.

My friend Bucky sent me this Washington Post op-ed a couple weeks ago. While one can cherry-pick events to show the similarities between eras, and while the author doesn’t provide much evidence to back his contention that the 1970s federal government was actually more inefficient than previous ones, rather than just perceived as such, he does lay out an uncanny array of ties between 1978 and 2008. It’s an entertaining read.

My friend/former co-worker and employer Doug Hiatt got a much-deserved write-up in the Seattle Times. Philip Dawdy’s longer (and highly entertaining) piece on Hiatt from a couple years ago can be found here.

John McCain may have gotten a little confused about the chronology of the surge and the Anbar Awakening, but CBS bailed him out. In covering the story, the NY Times turns to the ever-reliable war cheerleader Michael O’Hanlon for commentary. (A few questions: If Surge Cola were still around today, what would the surge do to its sales? It would have to help, right? Would they still call it the surge? Would people take the surge less seriously because it was seemingly named after a soft drink? Would Coca-Cola sue?)

Seth Kolloen put together a very funny graphic about former Mariners GM Bill Bavasi.

• The Full MOA - City Pages (Minneapolis/St. Paul) - Very funny account of an epic feat of endurance: the author spent a full week at the Mall of America, from open to close each day (and even through one night), visiting every store, being threatened by vendors with claimed ties to the Israeli mafia, and generally just undergoing hell.
• Semi Pro Movie - Will Ferrell - I’m sold.
• MySpace.com - The Long Goodbye - Los Angeles, California - Indie - www.myspace.com/thelonggoodbyeband - Michael Cera has a band! (Insert George Michael joke here.) Hat tip to the Seattle Weekly for the link.
• THE EXILE - Two Cities, Two Protests, One Arrest - By Yasha Levine - Russia - What’s it like being a protester in Russia? Get to know your fellow dissidents within a 5′ x 5′ soundproof, pitch black, steel holding box. Link found at The Stranger.
• Bicycles That Carry Powerful Beats, and Even a Rider or Two - New York Times - Two-wheel sound systems in Queens–an interesting new trend. Thanks to Doug for the link.
• Serving Life for Providing Car to Killers - New York Times - Another instance of America’s Saudi-lite criminal justice laws. That this kid is locked up for life is absurd. I’m bothered by the unquestioned deference given to the policy positions of victims’ groups. Of course no one wants to trivialize what are undoubtedly horrific experiences, but, shit, who among us makes our best decisions when we feel we’ve been wronged? I understand the theories that a vengeful code of justice prevents the sort of mob rule that would otherwise occur (though I think they’re fairly specious). And I definitely understand the desire to inflict punishment on a person who’s wronged me. I mean, I’ve wanted (on a very base level, of course–I don’t act on it) to beat people’s asses for all sorts of misdeeds. Is that the place we want our criminal justice system to come from? Wouldn’t it make more sense to base our decisions on the net costs and benefits to society, rather than on the emotional gratification of the wronged? We should listen to victims’ groups, not kowtow to them.
• Opinions: Tom Toles Cartoons - (washingtonpost.com) - Funny cartoon mocking the Washington Post’s recent decision to publish an article parroting “rumors” (beyond baseless) that Barack Obama is a “muslim plant” who will take his oath of office using the Koran. The Post failed to point out themselves that there was no evidence to support the rumors and didn’t explain Obama’s refutation of them until the 12th paragraph. (For a rundown of all the problems with the Post article, click here.)
• Ending Famine, Simply by Ignoring the Experts - New York Times - Kudos to Malawi for telling the West to shove its Spencerian, Washington Consensus austerity measures. I hope more developing countries follow suit.
• The Dirt on Clean, cleanliness, dirt, filth, bathing, bacteria | Salon Life - Interesting interview with woman who wrote a book on the history of human cleanliness.
• ESPN.com - E-ticket: Bo Knows Best - From the where-are-they-now category.
• Matt Taibbi on Mike Huckabee, Our Favorite Right-Wing Nut Job : Rolling Stone - A well-written and fairly comprehensive profile of Mike Huckabee.
• Rolling Stone : Year of the Rat: A 2008 Campaign Diary By Matt Taibbi - Another Taibbi piece. He’s a favorite of my friend Nirav’s. I’m not sure I’m quite as enthralled, but his coverage of the campaign has been really funny. Be sure to read to the end, where he finds a way to get his money quote.

• Welcome to the Corduroy Appreciation Club - An impressively devoted social club. These people do right by their corduroy.
• Jewish boy became Nazi mascot to survive - Amazing story, if true (which it probably is–historians supposedly have concerns about a nine-month gap in it, but everything else seems to add up).
• News: How the Cops and Courts Turn Abused Spouses Into Voiceless Victims (Seattle Weekly) - Does legitimate fear of a serious threat ever not turn into reactionary policies that go too far?
• FOXNews.com - Chuck Norris Endorses Mike Huckabee for President - Politics | Republican Party | Democratic Party | Political Spectrum - This might increase Huckabee’s standing among that ever-important demographic–stoned dorm-room voters.
• Mike Huckabee’s record | Salon.com - Not only does he have Norris in his corner; he has skeletons in his closet.
• YouTube - Voices of Uncertainty - Nicely done video in support of the writers’ strike, using management’s words against them.
• Amount of space required to transport the same amount of people by car, bus or bicycle | Frostfireseeds.com - These visual depictions have been around Seattle a lot lately as there was recently a vote on a transportation measure. They’re pretty remarkable.
• Is That Legal?: If It Was Torture in Mississippi, Then It’s Definitely Torture, Right? - a 1926 Mississippi court classified waterboarding as torture.
• The Economic Consequences of Mr. Bush: Politics & Power: vanityfair.com - Joseph Stiglitz’s critique of Bush’s economic policy.
• The Associated Press: Damon Named People’s `Sexiest Man Alive’ - My favorite headline of the day.

Artwork from the Corduroy Club

A ton of links today. Now go forth and vote.

• The Return of Superfly - This one’s been around for a long time, but if you haven’t read it already, you should. The real Frank Lucas is way, way more interesting than the Denzel character. A demerit to the screenwriter, or to whoever made the decision to make Lucas less fun. Here’s a choice excerpt: “A couple of days later, eating at a T.G.I. Friday’s, Lucas scowled through glareproof glass to the suburban strip beyond. ‘Look at this shit,’ he said. A giant Home Depot down the road especially bugged him. Bumpy Johnson himself couldn’t have collected protection from a damn Home Depot, he said with disgust. ‘What would Bumpy do? Go in and ask to see the assistant manager? Place is so big, you get lost past the bathroom sinks. But that’s the way it is now. You can’t find the heart of anything to stick the knife into.’”
• A Conversation Between Frank Lucas and Nicky Barnes - Money 2007 — New York Magazine - More Frank Lucas.
• Music review: Jay-Z, “American Gangster,” hip-hop, rap | Salon Arts & Entertainment - Bomani Jones, also a sportswriter for ESPN, gives a glowing review of Jay-Z’s new album. Which leads to perhaps the biggest reason for my disappointment in American Gangster. All the previews–at least the early ones–were set to Jay-z’s Heart of the City, one of my favorite songs, which got me too fired up and distracted me from the fact that it’d likely be just another cliche rise-and-fall flick, the gist of which my friend Sujan and I accurately predicted in a brief, off-handed, online conversation (Denzel as stately and misunderstood; grudging respect between him and Russell Crowe; filmmakers congratulating themselves for appreciating moral ambiguity through heavy-handed devices, etc. That said, it’s still worth seeing–well shot, Denzel’s good, and kept my attention for 2.5 hours, which is no small feat.). Also, I know everyone loves Reasonable Doubt, and I love it, too, but I feel like production’s underappreciated in the evaluation of rappers’ ouevres. Everyone hypes early work for the realness and rawness (the production on Reasonable Doubt is really good, no doubt), but I’ll be damned if I don’t love some top-notch hooks and beats almost as much as lyrical mastery. I’m what’s wrong with hip-hop! Someone tell Nas, Talib Kweli, Bill Cosby, etc.
• Mr Nice: An Autobiography - Google Book Search - Another fascinating kingpin, this time in the pot trade. This is one of my favorite books.
• Flickr Photo Download: shilshole_32 - Found on Slog. What an awesome picture.
• {mikeoliver.org} » Blog Archive » The First Thing We Do, Let’s Kill All The Lawyers - The situation in Pakistan is pretty awful. This is what you get when you base your foreign policy on the idea that “you’re with us or you’re against us.” 13-year-olds are more nuanced in choosing their friends. But this post contains one of the funnier lawyer jokes I’ve read (in the comments) and also a photograph that makes a riot gear beating look like a b-boy dance circle.
• Jamaica’s Powerless, Oppressed, Terrorized Homosexuals Plan to Take Over Planet, Destroy Life on Earth | Slog | The Stranger | Seattle’s Only Newspaper - Dan Savage publishes the author’s e-mail address, so at least maybe they’ll take over her inbox.
• Let airport staff ‘kill’ baddies for better security - tech - 06 November 2007 - New Scientist Tech - You can’t read the full article without a subscription, but I found the teaser interesting enough.
• Law.com - Retroactivity for Crack Sentence Cuts Debated - Pretty much everyone agrees that the sentencing disparities between crack and cocaine were based on bad science (and some good old-fashioned hysteria (meth, anyone?)), and that they created massive racial disparities in incarceration. So the Sentencing Commission finally decided to fix them. But the good ol’ US DOJ opposes making the fix retroactive.
• Justice Dept. Voting Chief Apologizes But Persists - washingtonpost.com - More fun with our DOJ, in honor of voting day.
• National Popular Vote — Electoral college reform by direct election of the President - Also in honor of voting day (a holiday everywhere else): a credible plan to rid ourselves of the problems of the electoral college. The idea is that each state pass a law dictating that their electoral votes be given to the popular vote winner as soon as a majority of states have the same law on their books. Brilliant way to bypass the virtual impossibility of constitutional amendment, and can be done over time. Thanks to Nirav for the link.
• Genetic breakthrough could give dandruff the brush-off, claim scientists | the Daily Mail - Not quite the great scientific advance we’ve all been waiting for, but not bad, I suppose. Interesting how they went about it, with a giant vat of yeast, some liquid nitrogen, and a powerful computer. It sounds like a bad 80s movie.
• A Corona, Please, and Don’t Hold the Lime - New York Times - It’s a health code violation for a bartender to touch the lime that goes in your drink with his or her bare hands. Who knew?

• Glenn Greenwald - Political Blogs and Opinions - Salon - Glenn Greenwald receives an angry e-mail from General Petraeus’ spokesperson, Col. Boylan, who then, channeling his inner G.O.B. or George Costanza, denies sending it. More on it and here and here, and Greenwald has written a bunch of follow up posts about it as well on his blog (he finally made the OJ Simpson “real killer” joke I’d been hoping would go unmade until I wrote this week’s Bush Admin round-up).
• Salon.com | News Wires - An unbelievable judge.
• Mexicans put own mask on Halloween - Los Angeles Times - The Catholic church has a beef with Halloween
• nirav vs. the unbearable lightness of being: A breakdown of the popefuls - Now, the Halloween thing isn’t as bad as, say, opposing birth control, but whenever the church does something that annoys me (whatever happened to Liberation Theology? I could get behind that), I turn to Nirav’s reporting on the Papal election, and I feel a lot better.
• Specialty Beers on the Rise in the Land of Sake - New York Times - I’ve always wondered why microbrews aren’t bigger in Manhattan. How many bars do you go to where the best beer is Stella or Heineken? (Lagers really dominate.) The ready availability of good beer was one of the things I missed most about the West Coast when I was in NYC. Anyway, it looks like Japan is joining the brew-snob game.

Finally, I was doing a little reading on Zubaz, the weightlifting pants from the early 90s (you remember them–the ones with the tight zebra stripes) that became big with NFL fans and were often advertised in the back of sports magazines, when I found this awesome video on the official Zubaz myspace page:

Big thanks to Mike for the new look on the site!

• As Campaigns Chafe at Limits, Donors Might Be in Diapers - washingtonpost.com - Voter fraud isn’t a problem, so we design voter ID schemes that will suppress turnout. Donor fraud, on the other hand…
• An unlikely treasure-trove of donors for Clinton - Los Angeles Times - More fun with money. More than a little shady. The rest of the country ought to look at Arizona’s public financing scheme.
• Turkey blames US Jews for genocide bill | Jerusalem Post - Defying time, retired Secretaries of State, common sense, Nancy Pelosi tries to bring floor vote on non-binding, strategically unwise, feel-good resolution regarding genocide that occurred roughly 100 years ago. One in five Turkish citizens blames US Jews for the proposed statement. Way to live up to your caricatures, everybody.
• New Commentary Editor Denies Neo-Nepotism - New York Times - John Podhoretz is looking about as battle-ready/hardened as his warmongering old man. The first paragraph contains a comical quote from Adam Bellow (Saul’s son), describing the “new nepotism” as combining the “privileges of birth with the iron rule of merit.” Bonus question for John P. regarding his photograph: Is that an American flag lapel pin or a Lacoste Alligator?
• A tale of two decisions (or, how the FBI gets you to confess) (PsychSound by Steve Bergstein) - Interesting what qualifies as “classified.” (Thanks to Scott for link.)
• “It’s Good to Play” | Slog | The Stranger | Seattle’s Only Newspaper - Dominic Holden compares cigarette companies’ and lottery agencies’ ads aimed at selling their products with their ads allegedly aimed at discouraging young people from using those products.
• The Litlab: Sharma Shields: Three Way Story - An entertaining short story from my friend Sharma.

• >bounce/oz ? Express Yourself: The World?s Most Slammin Break - All three iterations of Charles Wright and the Watts 103rd st. Rhythm Band’s “Express Yourself” in one post–from the original to N.W.A. to the newly released Statik Selektah cut (featuring Talib Kweli). Poke around this site–there’s some good stuff on there.
• Lifers as Teenagers, Now Seeking Second Chance - New York Times - More criminal justice insanity from the worldwide leader. I think the whole notion of life sentences for young kids is absurd, but this really got me: one in four juveniles given a life sentence in this country (nowhere else does it) is convicted of felony murder, meaning they didn’t participate in a murder, but only in the crime leading up to it. Seems like a good reason to say there’s no chance to rehabilitate a 13-year-old, no?
• How Curveball started the Iraq war | Salon Books - Interview with Bob Drogin, who wrote a book about “Curveball”, the Iraqi asylum seeker whose claims about Iraqi weapons programs were apparently the centerpiece of the Bush Administration’s case for an invasion.
• Buzzer Beater: Youth Football Pep Talk of the Year (Seattle Weekly) - Part I: Coach writes a disturbingly intense exhortative e-mail to parents of six-year-old flag football team players.
• Buzzer Beater: The Catch (Seattle Weekly) - Part II: One athlete rises to the challenge and is immortalized in one of the coolest sports photographs I’ve seen in a while.
• The life of Erik Prince - Get to know the dude who’s in charge of a decent chunk of your tax dollars. As with many Detroit Free Press articles, it features a jpeg that you can maximize and then drag around your screen. Don’t worry: Blackwater can’t shoot civilians from the confines of your monitor.
• This Week on Drugs | Slog | The Stranger | Seattle’s Only Newspaper - Another excellent drug war round-up from stalwart drug war chronicler (pun not intended) Dominic Holden.
• FOXNews.com - Dick Cheney Disagreed With President Bush Over Donald Rumsfeld Dismissal - Politics | Republican Party | Democratic Party | Political Spectrum - It’s still hard to believe those dudes came up together in the Office of Economic Opportunity–an agency charged with battling poverty.
• Brijit - Great content in 100 words or less - This site was created by a friend of a friend of mine. It’s an interesting concept–creating links to and compiling summaries of high-quality, long-form content–but I imagine the competition’s pretty stiff.

• Report Depicts Recklessness at Blackwater - Wanted: Individuals willing to terrorize Iraqi citizens, win hearts and minds for $1,222 a day.
• Santorum for governor? The Carpetbagger Report - No matter how many precautions you take, that Santorum always manages to run.
• Putin Says He Will Run for Parliament - New York Times - It’ll be just like Mr. Smith Goes to Washington!
• Pakistani Legislators Quitting - New York Times - Mr. Musharraf doesn’t go to Islamabad?
• Fixing crack sentencing. By Harlan J. Protass - Slate Magazine - It’s always good to see this issue getting some mainstream press. The sentencing disparities couldn’t get fixed soon enough. And the fix should be retroactive.
• ESPN - Alipour: Livingston still plans to be Clips’ future - NBA - A note to all you talented college ballers: this is why you don’t stay in school.

• ESPN Page 2 - The Sports Guy: Idiot’s Guide to the Isiah Trial - As always, top-notch stuff from the Sports Guy.
• What’s goin’ on in Leo?: Ssssh - Brief, dumb, but very funny joke.
• The Loan That Keeps On Taking - New York Times - Brings to mind the old Mark Twain quote: “What is the chief aim of man? To get rich. How? Dishonestly if we can, honestly if we must.”
• IMF looks to salvage its global relevance - International Herald Tribune - Not sure how I feel about this one. I like the idea of a safety net, but I don’t have much confidence that a revitalized IMF will be a big help to developing countries that find themselves in trouble.
• Glenn Greenwald - Political Blogs and Opinions - Salon - Greenwald does it again. One of the best takedowns of David Brooks I’ve read.
• School discipline tougher on African Americans - chicagotribune.com - The soft bigotry of not enforcing the law: Despite obvious evidence of problems, the Bush Administration’s Education Department Office of Civil Rights has opened just one investigation in the last three years into racially biased discipline in schools.
• More Profit and Less Nursing at Many Homes - New York Times - Dishonestly if we can…